Oh, those holiday memories! What a special time of year this is, when we remember all the good times. Gathered around that old fireplace DVD, the smell of fresh-baked cookies wafting out of the aromatherapy console. We’d all sit together and bask in the cold blue glow of our personal electronic devices, texting carols to everyone in our network while we all sat in the same room. Remember how Mom kept mixing up all the words? Poor Mom, she’s just not all thumbs.
Last week during the pre-Black Friday holiday season (my favorite time of year except for Inventory Reduction), we even had some carolers tweet us! We sat and read jngl bls and slnt nite, each of us with a marshmallow on a stick on our desktop wallpapers. The carolers were so nice that we friended all of them and invited them to Farmville and sent them pictures of fruitcake. You know, it’s so hard to get rid of pictures of fruitcake. No matter how many people you send them to, someone always sends you some back.
Remember when Grandma sent us “The Night Before Christmas” in LOLcat? We used to read 3 words at a time out of that story again and again. Mom and Dad got after us when we said Grandma was old-fashioned, though. But can you believe it? She e-mailed it to us! Dad said that’s all they had back then.
I read a blog that said way back in the old days, maybe as far back as 5 years ago, somebody tried to pass off Christmas as some kind of religious holiday and make it seem like all the shopping was supposed to represent some crazy gifts given to a baby a long time ago (like maybe 20 years–who can imagine that?). Personally I don’t believe it–none of those gifts was a Leap Pad! But maybe it’s true because there sure are a lot of things for sale now about this guy named Jesus–I think that was the name the people used. They even tried to say that the whole time from Black Friday to pre-pre-pre-Super Bowl Sunday was supposed to be all about peace and love and stuff! That’s just silly. I mean, it takes way too long to send pc n rth gdwl 2 men to everyone you know.
Tonight we’re going to make popcorn smell and plug in our plastic LED tree. Remember that funny story Dad told us last year about a pink aluminium Christmas tree? Can you imagine? A tree that’s only one color? I even heard Grandpa say that they used to grow trees in the ground and then cut them and put them in the house for Christmas. I don’t believe it, though. Grandpa gets kind of confused sometimes. He keeps talking about something called Thanksgiving, and we all smile and say, “Sure thing, Grandpa.” Last year, he wanted us all to watch some cartoon about a Christmas tree with these goofy-looking kids and a dog. He said it lasted a half-hour! Well, we didn’t have time for a mini-series, so we told him we’d watch it on YouTube. I didn’t, but my sister did and she said that it was about a blanket or something.
I love this season so much. I wish we could keep shopping like this the whole year through! I wonder why it is that people only shop like this for part of the year. Wouldn’t we be a lot better off if everyone grabbed and shoved and was aggressive and rude every day instead of just a few of them? I hope those religious people don’t succeed. It would be so depressing if people started to think that Christmas wasn’t about shopping anymore. What would all those Santa guys do for work? How would the customer service team members pay their data plan bills? What would we do with only three iPad upgrades per year? I don’t even want to think about it.
Well, enough of that depressing stuff. I’m so glad we live in a time where most people still know what this season’s all about. Gotta go, Mom said we’re all going to watch the 10-second version of rdlf t raindr with the LOLcat commentary track. It’s a pretty long show, but she says it’ll be worth it.